Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom: When Priorities Change

Some expectant mothers plan ahead to become stay-at-home moms during their children’s early years. A few of my friends embraced that path with confidence and intention. But like many women today, the idea of staying home to raise my child wasn’t even on my radar. Back then, over 20 years ago I was a workaholic. Not necessarily the first to arrive at the office, but almost always the last to leave. I thrived in my role at an IT consulting firm, the final job I held before stepping into marriage and motherhood.

I cherished the independence my career afforded me: quiet evenings to unwind, spontaneous outings with friends, and weekends that belonged entirely to me. Life felt full, flexible, and self-directed. But everything changed when I got married and became a mother. The rhythm of my life shifted, and so did my priorities.

When my daughter was born, one look at her innocent, angelic face made it clear; I couldn’t bear to be away from her. I fell in love instantly, and together, her father and I made the decision: I would become a stay-at-home mom. During her first year, we lived overseas due to my husband’s job. Two months before her first birthday, we moved back to the United States. I began searching for a job with a flexible schedule and an affordable daycare to register my kid. My husband had to remain overseas for a few more months, so it was just my daughter and me with no nearby family support.

I needed to find a daycare center that was close by quickly.

Before finding a daycare, once we settled into our new home, I reached out to a friend who lived not too far from us. She was the mother of a 1-year-old daughter, and we agreed to care for each other's children while the other was at work or running errands. She worked the night shift while I worked the regular 8-5. After several days of her watching my baby girl, I realized it was time to enroll my child in daycare. It wasn't that I didn't trust my friend, but I felt she was overwhelmed with other responsibilities and couldn't fully commit to caring for my child.

Through a colleague who later became a close friend, I discovered a home-based daycare run by a warm, Christian woman everyone affectionately called “Nana.” She was in her sixties, and my daughter bonded with her immediately. I felt it was truly a blessing to find her. Nana became like a second mother to me. Each day when I picked up my daughter, I’d stay an extra 30 to 45 minutes just talking with her — sharing Scripture, discussing life’s challenges, and exchanging stories about family and faith.

Nana and her family embraced us wholeheartedly. We joined them for picnics and trips to the Jersey Shore while living in New Jersey. Her family became our family, offering care, encouragement, and spiritual support during a season when I needed it most. As a mother of seven and grandmother to many, Nana’s wisdom and faith were a gift. She cared for Gabby for nearly two years, and saying goodbye when we moved to Texas for my husband’s assignment at Fort Bliss was deeply emotional.

Looking back, Nana was the first woman in my life who truly embodied the role of a spiritual counselor and mentor. I believe God orchestrated our meeting and used her presence to guide me as a new mother and wife—especially since I had only been married for about a year before Gabby was born. I’m forever grateful to God for the relationship we shared and the love her family poured into ours.

As Christian women on this life journey, it's always beneficial to have a godly woman in your life who is seasoned, trustworthy, genuinely interested in you, and wants to see you fulfill your purpose as a wife, mother, and daughter of the KING.

I will stop here for now...

I love to hear your stories of motherhood or being a stay at home parent.

Thank you for reading!

I remain yours in the faith,

Margaret (MKO)