Running Your Race: Finding Joy in Your Own Lane

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For years, I felt inadequate, unable to meet the expectations set by my parents and others. At each stage of my life, when I reflected on my achievements or what I believed I should have attained, I consistently felt like a failure, comparing myself to friends, colleagues, cousins, and former classmates. I believed I wasn't doing enough, and social media didn't help, as it showcased the "so-called" successes of people I knew. I say "so-called" because not everything on social media is true; it's all about maintaining appearances. In Nigeria, where I grew up, this is referred to as "packaging," a slang term for presenting oneself in a way that creates a favorable impression, often exaggerating one's wealth, success, or sophistication.

It was only in recent years, after seeking guidance from the Lord about my purpose and having conversations with my husband, that I realized I had been pursuing a path that wasn't meant for me, a race that wasn't mine. Comparing yourself to others and minimizing your own achievements can subtly undermine your joy, confidence, and sense of purpose. Friends, scripture reminds us that our identity is based not on how we compare to others, but on who we are in Christ. A verse that reflects this truth is 2 Corinthians 5:17: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." This verse assures us that our identity is not defined by comparison, past mistakes, or worldly standards, but by the transformative power of being in Christ. You are renewed, and it is in this renewal that your worth and purpose are grounded.

And so can you run your own race; finding joy in your own lane?

I know in a culture that glorifies competition and constant comparison, it's easy for a woman to feel she's falling behind. Whether it’s scrolling through highlight reels on social media as I alluded to earlier or witnessing the milestones of others, the temptation to measure your life against someone else’s is real. But Scripture offers a freeing truth: you were never created to run her race—you were called to run yours.

Running your own race and finding joy in your own lane is about embracing the life God uniquely designed for you—not the one social media, culture, or comparison tries to assign.

Over the years, I've gained valuable insights on running your own race through spending time in God's presence, and conversations with my husband as previously mentioned, and I'd like to share these insights with you.

1. Understand Your Assignment

God has given you a specific calling that is unique to you and is designed to fulfill a divine purpose in this world. This calling is not merely a suggestion but an assignment that carries significant weight in the grand tapestry of life. As the Apostle Paul articulates in his letter to the Corinthians, particularly in 2 Corinthians 10:13, “We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us.” This verse highlights the importance of recognizing and respecting the boundaries of our personal ministry and the unique gifts that God has bestowed upon each of us. It serves as a reminder that we are to focus on our own God-given assignments rather than comparing ourselves to others.

2. Keep Your Focus on Jesus

Hebrews 12:1–2 encourages us to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us, keeping our focus on Jesus." Your race has already been set in motion by the One who knows you best. Looking to the left or the right only causes you to stumble. By focusing on Christ, you’re less prone to be sidetracked by the pace or path of others. He serves as both your guide and your goal.

3. Celebrate, Without Comparing

Romans 12:15 encourages us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice," encouraging us to share in others' happiness, even in a society often driven by comparison and competition. When we celebrate another woman's achievements, such as promotions or personal milestones, we should view them not as threats to our own value but as evidence of possibilities and God's plentiful blessings. It gladdens the heart of God when we celebrate others. While envy and self-doubt are natural reactions, it's important to remember that success is not limited. The success of one woman can inspire others, similar to how a candle can light another without losing its own flame. By celebrating others' achievements, we uplift them and affirm our own self-worth, creating a supportive environment where everyone can flourish.

4. Choose Grace Instead of Perfection

You don’t have to hustle for worth. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” You are already enough in Him. Friend, there is no need to strive endlessly for approval or validation from others, as our worth is already established through our relationship with Christ. Run at the pace of grace. This means recognizing that our journey is not a race to be won but a walk to be enjoyed. Grace invites us to slow down, breathe deeply, and appreciate the moments we often rush past in our quest for success.

5. Reevaluate and Adjust

Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy, so it's important to reflect on whether you're following your own path or someone else's goals. Focus on your unique journey, shaped by your experiences and talents, rather than others' successes. Engage in journaling, prayer, and spending time in the Word to support self-reflection. Journaling clarifies thoughts and tracks progress, while prayer invites guidance and strengthens your relationship with God. Spending time in the Word offers insights and encouragement, inspiring you to remain true to your purpose and highlighting God's work in your life.

In a world that constantly encourages comparison, competition, and self-doubt, God gently invites you to embrace something greater: contentment, confidence, and purpose. Your journey is not about competition—it’s about fulfilling a mission. You were never intended to run like someone else, look like them, or live their story. You were meant to run your own race, at your own pace, with the Lord guiding your every step.

Refocus today by fixing your eyes on Jesus, who has enabled you to accomplish anything you desire in life. Celebrate others without losing your own identity. And remember: you are already enough, already chosen, already equipped. There is joy in your path, strength in your stride, and purpose in every step.

Keep running your race, sister. The finish line is full of grace.